Helping your family or friend with suicidal thoughts

Most of us have times when we are sad and lonely over an event or series of events such as a relationship coming to an end, a failed piece of coursework, failing to make social contact and feeling alone, feeling that you’ll never have a relationship, a job or a home of your own.

For some people, such thoughts become an integral part of their life and they don’t know how to cope with it. This continuous feeling of sadness and hopelessness make them depressed. They feel that they are too much of a burden for people and they should end their lives.  

So, how can you offer help to people with suicidal tendencies? Firstly, you should know about the warning signs that your loved one or friend may be thinking of suicide.

Here are a few warning signs you can look for:

• talking about ‘going away’
• talking about feeling hopeless or feeling guilty
• pulling away from friends or family and losing the desire to go out
• having no desire to take part in favorite activities
• having trouble concentrating or thinking clearly
• sudden sense of calm and happiness after being extremely depressed
• saying goodbye to people as if they won’t be seen again
• experiencing changes in eating or sleeping habits
• engaging in self-destructive behavior (drinking alcohol, taking drugs, or driving too fast)
• giving away personal possessions

If you suspect any such behavior, please don’t wait to see them get better on their own. Approximately 8 lakh people take their lives each year. Why? Because a suicidal person is in so much pain that he or she can see no other option. Blinded by feelings of self-loathing, hopelessness, and isolation, they can’t see any way of finding relief except through death.

You can offer help to them by talking about it. Let them know that they are not alone. You may start the conversation by asking - “I wanted to check with you because you haven’t seemed yourself lately.”

Let the person open up about their feelings no matter how negative the conversation seems. Listen to them patiently without being judgmental otherwise, they will again go back in their shell and remain silent.

Make sure that you don’t argue with them or say things like ‘your suicide will hurt your family’. It will make them feel more negative about themselves.

If you feel they are in immediate danger, make sure that you don’t leave them alone. Take them to a medical professional to seek proper treatment for depression. Make sure that the person takes prescribed medicines on time and take note of any side-effects happening. Gives detail to the doctor about their recovery.

Besides medication, encourage positive lifestyle changes to your loved ones life. Go along with them for walks, cook healthy meals, allow them to have adequate sleep, and share jokes, funny incidences and positive stories with them. Give them time to heal, and let them come back to you saying ‘I feel much better now. Thanks for your love, support, and care.’

After all, they say “it may be that help and support from friends and family will get you through the bad patch.”